X-Mas List of Things I Am Going To Blackmail Santa For With All These Pictures of Him With Kids On His Lap That I Have:

1.) A red X-mas (blood & guts may be harder to clean off the roof and tree, but, golly, are they a lot more fun to look at).

2.) A chainsaw (for those lonely nights).

3.) A vibrator (also for those lonely nights).

4.) "Cooking for the Modern Cannibal: A Book of Helpful Tips" by Jeffrey Dahmer.

5.) Ted Bundy's handsome eyebrows.

6.) Something to feed this ever-growing ego of mine (he's such a big boy now).

7.) "The Notebook" on DVD (fingers crossed!).

8.) New "cleaning" supplies for the new year.

9.) A dinner date with Patrick Bateman.

Yours In Christ,

~ Rex "Oh My God, Where's That Corpse's Genitalia?" Kackley ~